Dating

I thought I'd write a blog post on this as I read an interesting article today from the worst website on the planet (elite daily). Ok, ok, not the worst website in reality, but they usually have stuff pertaining to 'how to please your man', and 'what I need to do with my life to be happy' etc. Yeah, ok, well maybe I can learn a few tips on pleasing my man...but, what's your point?

Anyway, the article was about a guy who stopped dating because he was fed up with the dating scene. The one part of the article I resonated with, was his perception of dating as 'a game'. It doesn't have to be, but it can be perceived that way in the modern urban dating culture. I understand his perception of it because I've been there too in the past when I was younger. You can start to become bitter when it seems like you can never win in the dating game. However, when I finally stopped 'dating' in the traditional sense, I started meeting and relating to people in a whole different context.

Dating used to seem like a game to me, that I often attained the prize and other times did not. I realized that dating was not merely just a game in my perception of it, but merely a form of manipulation of trying to get people to like each other, by putting on an act early on in the dating process to hide who we truly are. I couldn't possibly allow her to see my vulnerabilities early on. Much of what I've seen from not only my own experiences, but others as well is this:

Gee, I hope I don't fuck this up. Ok, I have to make sure I pay for her at the end of the date or she'll think I'm cheap. Should I kiss him at the end of the first date or not? How long should I wait to call her?.Basically, every choice built around...fear. Another game of the Ego. Fear is what dictates much of the dating culture today. Finally, I realized that I no longer cared about what the modern dating culture had to offer, in the traditional sense, because it no longer served me, where I was in my life. It seemed antiquated and built off of that low vibration of fear. Much of modern day dating is indeed, an incredibly low vibration centered around fear I've realized. We've stopped focusing on relating and instead gotten so caught up with how we will be perceived by each other. I stopped doing it and started meeting wonderful people I aligned more with including the girl I previously went out with and also people who also viewed relationships from the perspective that I did. People who were not afraid of Being who they truly are on a first meeting. Which means throwing all dating rules out the window. Stop worrying about how they perceive you and start noticing how you relate to these other people.....from love? or from fear?

My point is that, dating is still going to be dating, especially in large urban areas where you find much of the 'sex and the city' type of dating game dogma. But, that's not the only option of finding a companion. You don't have to go around being bitter and angry and complaining that women/men all suck and that you'll never meet anyone. You don't have to believe in the hype that the media incessantly throws our way. It's not true. It's only true for you, in your own limited perception of what dating is because you're conditioned to believe that meeting people can only happen if I date in the traditional sense of dating rules. If you believe that all women will only go out with you if you adhere to a strict set of dating rules, then that will be true for you and likely, you will only attract a certain type of person. Like attracts like. Your deepest beliefs will manifest most certainly in every experience of yours. Open yourself up to a larger perspective on life, a larger pool of people from all walks of life, a perspective built around love and what relating actually means from a deep, deep sense of self, and you'll start to realize that there is an incredible world of wonderfully amazing women/men out there that you never realized existed because you were so caught up in the dating game.