"The closer you get to the meaning
The sooner you'll know that you're dreaming"
Lyrics above by Ronnie James Dio and Black Sabbath. The power of getting lost within the story to realize you'd been dreaming......is the thrill of experiencing yourself as 'not yourself'; the thrill of believing you are 'powerless', and without choice, to the empowering realization that you have always had a choice to align with love or fear; to wake up to who you really are and realize everything was always ok. Even the word 'perfection' implies that there is something else that is imperfect. There only ever was....this flow of unconditional love, this flow of peace and well being. It is our choice to align with that flow or resist it. Ultimately, that's the crux of the game of life.
We take this life so seriously and so real. The fundamental belief that "life is scary" stems from a belief in "I am separate". I fall victim to the character of "Derek" and and all of his apparent worries, insecurities, doubts and anxieties by believing that story could ever possibly be.....real. Everything in this story seems so real, so serious, and so urgent as if my entire sense of self worth, depended on its survival. That story when believed as a child, then becomes the face/persona/identity of who I believe myself to be. That story then sets the stage for my subconscious mind to be on alert for anything that could possibly cause harm to that sense of identity in which this story creates. After all, the identity we believe we are, is simply based in a story we have taken to be true. It's life and death to my nervous system.
What happens when I believe myself to be the character itself within the story? Let's look at a hypothetical break down of our views on reality. Life gets really serious and real when I believe this thought that "I am the character in the story". Pressure builds. Real danger can actually happen. Dear god, I can actually be harmed! Life is this unloving, savage place of competition. There is no love here. It's every woman/man for themselves. If I don't make things happen, if I don't gain control of the external world, then I will fall behind, I will struggle, I will not be loved, and the Universe will eat me up and spit me out and leave me there . I will be putting myself at risk for something bad to happen if I allow myself to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is death to the ego. Of course vulnerability comes in various forms. I need to control life to make sure I am safe! The reality 'out there', needs to fit this criteria of control that this ego believes it needs to have, to a tee in order to ensure that it is loved, happy, content and safe. Happiness after all, can only come from the feelings of safety. And I can only feel safe when I know my external circumstances are perfect enough to meet the criteria for safety that my subconscious has established based on the beliefs we have taken on in childhood. Lots of constriction, tension, resistance in my body. So much pressure!
Now, perhaps there is a squeak of light that says.....well.....maybe I AM more than just this body. Maybe there is an after life. Maybe I am eternal! Incredible!....but....I still need to earn my way through this life and get things "right" in this 'classroom' called Earth, or else.....I will have to come back again and again, and again, until I do indeed, get things "right" and earn the grades to progress higher in my advancement. Well, that is wonderful that I am eternal. Now, I know I am more than just this bag of bones and tissue. Whew! That's a relief! Yet, something still feels off. I mean, being eternal is awesome, but if I am in a classroom, that means, I still need to get things "right" in this life in order to earn my place in the after life! More constriction, resistance, tension in my body. More pressure! After all, how can I let go and surrender in this life, if I 'need to get things right'? There is always this pressure of needing to do things "right" and be on the "right path". The idea that I can actually not be on the right path and actually get things "wrong" implies that.....well......things are NOT ok right now and also implies that I am not....indeed....already....perfect. My heart is telling me that I am already perfect. But, how could I be perfect? I mean, if I am already perfect, then why would I have to get things "right"? And who or what is outside of myself that would even determine if things are "right" or not?
An even greater glimpse of light appears. Moving towards this light feels so immensely peaceful and loving and full of ease. A wave of insight comes through. Could this be my heart talking to me? What it's saying seems too simple. Nah. This can't be true. Well....let's consider it for a second, just for the hell of it. Perhaps none of the above was true.....ever. What if, I'm already perfect. If I am already perfect, then there is no right or wrong. And if I can't get things wrong, then how are my being graded in this classroom called Earth? After all, a classroom is indicative of grades and grades are indicative of 'right/wrong'. So, if I am not being graded, then what am I here to learn? Could it be that I am not here to learn anything? hmmm. My goodness, could it be that I am already complete and utter perfection and I have never left this 'perfection'? Could it be that I have nothing to prove, progress to, or achieve, but simply BE myself to the best of my ability for this temporary blip of time on this planet we call life? Could it be that I am only here in this physical body in order to create myself, express myself and most of experience myself, in which ever way I so choose in order to add to the infinite expansion of 'All That Is"(through love or through fear) and either way, it matters not ultimately because "All That Is" always expands with any type of experience, regardless of the 'outcome' of the experience? Could it be that I am literally creating my entire life experience including matching up with all of the versions of reality that correlate best with my own vibration? Could life simply be that simple? It feels so damn right in my body. My body is telling me that....yes.....it is this simple. But, my mind, society, even various new age teachings tell me that there has to be more and it has to be more complex. Life has to be more difficult. Hard work is the only way I was taught. I have to earn my way towards self worth.
This was a very generic overview of what happens when we deconstruct the stories we believe that don't resonate with the core of our being. I had multiple phone discussions with NDE'r Rich Kelley (Life is a Stage Play) and he informed me that life really IS this simple and we are all here as creators and here to learn nothing as there IS nothing that we don't already know. We are here simply to experience all that we know. This is also confirmed in Conversations with God, and many other NDE's.
I have been learning to use my body an awful lot with discerning information I receive from reading various material, be it spiritual or health related or other stuff. There is this innate knowing intuitively within my heart that I (and many of us collectively) have attached to many fear based beliefs about life, simply out of a desperate lack of trust and fear that I will never "become whole" again. We ALL feel so greatly disconnected here on this planet.....disconnected from who we truly are, and that disconnection will manifest in so many ways for each of us uniquely. But, the intuition that comes strikingly through my body in the form of immense peace, clarity and the thoughts of "Of course!" (compared with the perspective of believing in that story above which brings immense restriction and tension and stress), is that.........we all have simply forgotten that there never was anything to fear in the first place. FEAR is an illusion. The only thing that is real is the utter......experience of fear. An acronym for fear that a friend of mine provided: Forgetting Everything's All Right.
The ultimate realization.........we never left anywhere. We already are whatever it is, we believe we are seeking, advancing to or progressing to. We already are God itself, expressing and experiencing itself through an infinite number of realities. This simple belief (which is often enforced in much New Age literature) that we have to strive for some sort of spiritual advancement or progress can really re-enforce feelings of incompleteness within ourselves. Self love is the eternal way home..... meaning.....radically accepting exactly where we are in life and fully loving every aspect of where we are, because there is no race or competition to get somewhere else. Radically loving yourself darkness and all, means you are no longer resisting "who you are" and fully accepting all parts of yourself by allowing them to be. And not only that, you are actually communicating to the Universe that you ARE a creator and that you trust that the Universe is fully supporting you and that it IS indeed, safe to let go, and vulnerably allow yourself to be enveloped by life itself. OR, you can create from the old subconscious patterns of fear. Let's put it this way, whatever we focus on, grows. We spend our lives believing and living out the same old subconscious patterns and THIS becomes the predominant reality we experience. To realize that this reality was only one possible potential, means that you can create anything. Of course this does not involve changing or fixing our subconscious patterns as so many therapies attempt to do, but instead, realizing and perhaps the most profound aspect of all spirituality..........you can't fix a story, but you can realize that you never were that story.
We forget the beauty of approaching life from a place of 'curiosity' in the complete and utter perfection of the present moment, like a child, and instead put so much pressure on ourselves to fight our way to some never existing destination that will only fulfill us temporarily. Manifestation is happening whether we are conscious of it or not. Yet, there is a such a seeming paradox that manifesting from a place of the heart only works, when you are in a state of surrender, appreciation and gratitude, rather than trying to push, control and force the manifestation process. But, TRUST is the gateway to the heart of God. Trusting.....in who you really are as a confident, powerful God, vs. trying to 'make things happen' out of a belief in lack, worry, doubt is where miracles happen. It is this divine, childlike love that allows in all that is a match to that vibration of Love. This is our true nature.
Fear is truly believing that something bad can actually happen to us and buying into that story our subconscious has played for so long. The idea that anything in existence can ever truly harm who I really am, to the point where my life depended so much on whether the external environment conformed to my liking would only take place when I have bought into the belief that I am REALLY separate. If I really believe myself to be separate, then dear god, life really IS scary. If I don't worry about this, and this and this and this .....what ever will happen? If I don't pay attention to this thought of worry, then how will this situation be rectified? There is a complete void of trust, in our survival stories, a lack of trust that well being, that love is already who I am, that letting go vulnerably into the openness of life, can only bring me what I truly want and need in any moment. Sure, what might manifest in my experience, might not be what the ego wants, but the greater part of me, that over sees everything (call it the Higher Self, the Over Soul, etc) knows exactly which path is right for me. Love is already the structure of everything.
But, who or what is it that wants so badly to control the external reality to conform it to its own version of 'safety'? Who is it that feels it needs to worry about this thought and that thought? It's nothing more than a story that our survival mechanism or....ego has created throughout our lives. Our subconscious mind has taken on so many limiting beliefs since we were children, which has created an entire reality for ourselves which seems incredibly objective, solid and real. But, it's all a construction of our own beliefs. It's just one potential reality. Some have been fed to us by our parents, care takers and others around us, while others are simply how our survival brains have filtered the world at a young age.
Of course, it served its purpose initially in living a life of feeling powerless, unworthy and feeling like we never had a choice. That is, until we can become aware enough to see that the initial limited reality we took as a truth is merely constrictive, limiting and leaves us feeling powerless, at the mercy of a cruel world 'out there'. Our reality is a construct of our beliefs. Life is a game. The purpose as I see it, is to first experience yourself as NOT yourself. To experience yourself as choice less, powerless, separate, at the mercy of the world, in order to try to find our way home amidst opposing energies. Taking on this initial limiting belief sets the stage and gives off the rocket of desire (in the words of Abraham) for us to experience something more aligned with who we truly are. If there is no such thing as FEAR, other than the pure experience of it (which is very very real), then how could I ever have believed myself to be the doll in the dollhouse, to believe myself to be the action figure on the board game, to believe myself to be the face on the screen and not seen how I was the creator of the doll house, the creator of the board game, the movie projector itself all along?
