Care for your Vehicle

I look at my body as my temple. My body is my vehicle of Consciousness. It's my physical dimension vehicle of Being. We tend to take for granted our body because we are so lost in our thoughts, that we project and project outwards. As a result of this outward projection to the world of appearances, we ignore everything taking place in the eternal 'Now" and we take advantage of our bodies and pollute it with processed foods and put extra stress on it, by pushing our bodies to limits that it is simply not capable over the long term of whether at the workplace or in other areas of life.

Our bodies evolved in a way that are not designed for some of the stuff we do to it today. There is a reason that chronic diseases are at an incredible high in this day and age. It's stress on the body. Even if disease does not manifest immediately, it often does later in life because it's not the way our bodies were to designed to live. 

Experience is our greatest purpose. But, experience can be anything. It doesn't mean you have to jump out of an airplane nor does it mean you have to attain the most successful job in the world. Experience can be something as subtle as growing and evolving as a Soul Perspective from a relationship with a friend, experiencing the heartbreak of a break up, or the grieving of a lost relative, moving to a new city, learning a musical instrument, starting a new exercise program, taking a different route to work, sleeping in the nude, or going outside of your comfort zone to take on a new hobby. Or it can be all of these which serve the ultimate purpose of growth. As long as there is an opportunity for reflection meaning seeing yourself through another person/object, growth can take place. 

Consider that what we are, is One Energy, One Awareness and One God. There is only one 'entity' in actual existence. In order for there to be something to experience, there has to be more than one thing existing. So, this One Consciousness imagines itself to be separate perspectives. It does this prior to physical incarnation. Then, each perspective incarnates into physicality to experience what we now have as Derek, Mary, John, a tree, a bird, particle, cell, etc. But, in its imagination, none of its perspectives (while incarnated into physicality) know their true nature as this One Consciousness. However, now that there ARE multiple perspectives, there's the ability to have relationships. Relationships of all kinds are our biggest tools of growth and evolution and what physicality is all about. So, there is no God separate from you. You are God itself trying to remember who you are by utilizing physicality as a tool for experience. Experience equals growth/evolution of the perspective you are. Growth/Evolution equals growing/evolving your perspective to remember that your true nature always was this One Consciousness and was never anything, but that. 

Therefore, the human body has evolved the way it has for certain purposes. Not caring for it, is missing the point of your existence here in physical incarnation. Your body is not meant to be a punching bag or an annoyance. Just like you drive a car to get from point A to point B, you need to care for your car or it won't work and therefore, you can't fulfill the experience you set out to do. Same goes for the human body. 

It's kind of funny that when I travel on vacation (which I like to do at least once or twice a year), I plan out ahead of time how I'm going to be eating where I am traveling to. Are there healthy options in the area? Is there a whole foods where I can cook at least? And of course, many people think I'm nuts which is all good :)

It's not really their fault the way they are conditioned, it's just the way wellness is looked at in the modern consumerism world. Meaning, I don't follow any particular diet. It just seems that way because I choose to eat largely organic and GMO free which is the way we were designed to eat when we evolved as humans if you think about it. Just because I choose not to pollute my body with foods that it's not designed to eat, does not make eating habits restrictive. It means I understand my body's purpose here in physicality and what is and what is not nourishing for my body.

In an 'ideal world', there would only be healthy options to eat and therefore traveling would be incredibly easy, because there would always be healthy food at your finger tips. Yet, this is not an ideal world, but at the same time a midst all of this, everything is perfect the way it is, because the way it is now, creates a different web of experience/cause and effect. It's all a matter of how I and others (who choose to be healthier with our bodies), relate to this current consumerism paradigm in place. 

So, you do what you can do and you don't stress it. What is....IS. 

Blessed Be

Blessed Be all that's wrong

Blessed Be all that's right

For all of it is just as is

in the eyes of the Loving Light

Life is ever evolving

Life can never end

It's cyclical in nature

through every curve and bend

From every human being

to every drop of rain

to every flower growing

on every window pane

From every single particle

to every sunset night

your body too an opening

for expression of the light

Death a new beginning

A mere changing of the guard

to the ever evolving Energy

expressed in every card

One Love appears as many

And all within its wealth

One Love that knows that all of it

is merely JUST Itself.

Your truth you hold so tightly to

Your truth you can't let go

Until your world is shattered

and all your truths must go

Then you move towards opening

Then you move towards Peace

and see that separation

was merely just a tease

So, look at life with honesty

Look at life with Love

Understand it's all the same

As below is as Above

A little poem I wrote tonight pertaining to non-duality and the illusion that we are separate. 

The world doesn't need to be saved folks. A midst the craziness going on with the NYC police department here in NYC, There is intense anger, support of this side, support of that side, political agendas, religious posts. It's a fucking madhouse and I stay clearly away from it. But, it is what it is. When people are trapped in their limited beliefs about who they believe themselves to me, they will only perceive the world through the colored lens of those limited beliefs. We've all done it at one point or another including myself. 

Anyway, I'll leave you on that note tonight. 

Much love to you my brothers and sisters  

Exploring the Astral Realms....almost

I've decided to start 'The Presence Process' by Michael Brown. I started it in July/August, but never got far because I couldn't sit still in the way that he advised in his book. So, I've decided to customize my own version of his program to go through the emotional body, especially after seeing the other day, that I need to work through some stuff emotionally. It will be an intensive process of delving into emotions, but the only way Home is through. I'm very excited, yet a little scared.

In discussing with a friend about out of body experiences and lucid dreaming, I wanted to share my recent experience in the 'almost Astral realms'. Let me point out that awakening has nothing to do with mystical experiences, it has everything to do with seeing who and what you are beyond concepts and definitions. Seeing the underlying Being for every and any experience. 

With that aside, I've had a number of strange experiences of late of the same nature. I've had some sleeping problems for a long time now. Recently, early in the morning about 5-6 AM, I've woken up and had a tough time falling back asleep. When I start to fall back asleep, my body is gripped by sleep paralysis. As a kid, I used to have nightmarish experiences with sleep paralysis and as a result, I had terrible fear. However, this experience was nothing like that. There was no fear at all. Actually, it was intensely peaceful beyond words. The most prominent feature of this experience was the buzzing feeling all around my head and throughout my body. Intense, intense buzzing like a vibration beyond words. A couple of months ago, this happened and I had a dream that followed where I was flying and in the dream, I knew I was flying and I knew that I could fly on instinct. On waking, I had the same exact feeling that I knew that I could fly. There was absolutely no question what-so-ever, that I could fly simply by manifesting the experience with thought. But, of course that did not happen. 

So, a week ago, this happened again, without the dream part and I stayed with the buzzing feeling and I absolutely knew in that instant, that I could leave my body when I wanted to. It was a knowing beyond words. It's weird how this thought came to me about leaving my body without any prior experience. I felt so close, but fear came over me, and the vibration stopped and the paralysis stopped. 

After doing a bit of research, it seems that I'm clearly in the early stages of lucid dreaming and the early stages of going out of body. What is actually needed to leave the body and actually explore the astral realms, is to allow the vibration to continue and not resist it. I've been resisting it and as a result, the energy cannot flow as properly and I can't go any further than the early vibration stages. The vibration itself is energy. Going out of body is not overly important to me, but I think it would be a really cool thing to explore the astral realms, and meet some Beings from other dimensions. I've been a big fan of Tom Campbell and his work "My Big ToE (Theory of everything) and Bob Monroe's work with exploring the astral realms. 

So, I will you keep my readers posted on my emotional progress through the presence process along with any new updates on potential astral trips. 

Much love for now

The only way Home.....is through

I've had a wave of insights today and I need to keep posting it here while it's fresh. My friend sent me a blog on facebook today and the blog got me thinking.

Home. Where is it? What is it? Conceptually, it can be a variety of different things.

Home is a non-conceptual I AM beyond all fear and limitations of the human mind. When we die and leave our bodies, we will be back Home. Home with the Light. The Light of Source Being

But, how do we find our way home while incarnated? Well, we can never be truly 100 percent unlimited while in these human bodies. However, we can be less and less limited as I've written about in the past. Finding our way Home is a metaphor for exposing ourselves and opening ourselves up to life itself. Yoga is one the practices which utilizes the body as a way to find our path Home. The toughest and most challenging way through, is via the mind/body. Encountering every symptom in our body, every thought, every emotion, every feeling, every sensation of every cell in our body, feeling every aspect of it, including the hell that we might experience, feeling our way through it......is the only way through it. Talking about it is one thing. Actually experiencing it, is a whole notha.

Michael Brown author of 'The Presence Process" has a similar program. Granted, I don't follow his process to a tee, I think the approach makes sense. The only true way to salvation/liberation/HOME is through the body/mind, since the body/mind is our only vehicle/tool of experience while incarnated into humanity and if it is our only tool/vehicle to work with, then it also must be our only path Home.

You can't find your way Home in real life by avoiding the path that leads to your house. I was watching the Wizard of Oz on Thanksgiving with my niece. My goodness, I never realized the spiritual undertones of the movie. Dorothy couldn't find her way home out of Oz without following the yellow brick road. The Yellow Brick Road is a metaphor for experience itself. Dorothy wanted so badly to go Home, but the more she resisted, the more fear she had, the more stuck she was in Oz. Remember the ending when the good witch says "you could go home any time you like". Again, another metaphor for us here in humanity. We are always essentially Home and could realize it anytime we would like, if we would simply embrace our experience and stop resisting life so much. It wasn't until Dorothy followed the Yellow Brick Road and all of the challenges and pain it brought along the way, it wasn't until she opened up to what the Yellow Brick Road offered, that she was able to finally find her way home.

In the same way, you can't find your way to your true Home (your nature as Love) by avoiding the heart of your experience which often includes pain, heartbreak, physical illness and mental torment. Feeling our way through it means we embrace it all. We feel it all and experience it all. If we have doubts about our experience, we embrace those doubts. If we get caught in the ego perspective of the human experience, we embrace that too. If illness is a factor, we embrace that too. And underneath that experience is mere Love as we embrace the experience of experience.

Love flows freely while fear contracts and resists. Love illuminates the unknown into the Known, while fear keeps the unknown in the dark as the unknown.

Most of us fear that which we don't know. The only way through that fear is to illuminate the unknown by diving into it and feeling our way through it.

When we think of Home, we thank of safety, comfort and love. Home therefore, is the ultimate metaphor for Love, our true nature as Being. Opening up to that frequency is the only way Home.

Ultimately, we've always been Home and have never left, but we just have to realize it.

The limitations of beliefs

I AM....whatever I perceive myself to BE. There is no objective truth as to what I AM or what I AM NOT. Physical reality is a co-creation of subjective experiences.

I limit MYself by what I merely believe MYself to be. If I believe MYself to merely be a human being in a competition filled world, then I will BE just that. I will only find validation in what I AM from the needing of finding love and approval from others.

But, when I allow my experience to BE, when I embrace all that IS, in sickness and in health, when I allow my fears to be there and love them fully, when I allow other perspectives outside of MY own, I open MYself up to a greater perspective of Love and I AM less limited. I AM only Love itself. I don't need another to love me to validate who and what I AM. I already AM Love itself!

 I AM that I AM. I AM Being and I AM Derek. I AM Being being Derek. There is no separation between I AM and Derek.

What you believe yourself to be via concepts, definitions and labels, will ultimately be what you BE. The less definitions and labels you apply to the I AM, the less limited you will be and the more Love you will be.

All perspectives including the more limited and the less limited are equally valid to the Greater perspective of totality.

This is non-duality. This is Love.

Some insight that came through today.

Love to you all.

The meaning of life is....Love

I think it's important to acknowledge this as I was reading something today from a near death experiencer about this subject matter and I thought I'd create a post on it. Life can be so tough sometimes for some, that they want out. I just want to say that I empathize with those who might be going through this from my past experiences and my deepest love goes out to you. Here's my experience as candid as it can be:

Back in 2007-2008, I started developing chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia, literally out of no where (later, I learned of the cause and effect of stress on my body as the contributing factor). I was your average American 26 year old (whatever that means) prior to this. I partied a lot, ate the standard american diet, was always dating someone new and most of all, stressed a LOT about anything and everything. I got sick and my life changed. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I couldn't comprehend how I could not do the things I used to do (drinking a lot, partying, other stuff). I missed my college days desperately as I had so much fun in college. I became very depressed and angry with the stress of searching what was wrong me that I started thinking it would be easier if I stopped existing. I never had a plan nor did I ever truly think I would ever do it. But, the thoughts crept in my head when flare ups would happen. I was also in a bad place occupation wise at a job with not such a great environment, making minimum wage. I couldn't deal with the stress anymore of life. This only happened between 2007-2008. After that, these thoughts never came back.

Well, as it turned out, I discovered meditation around 2008-2009 and my life changed. It helped me to become more and more and more present.

The meditation book that really got me started was 'Meditation, now or never' by Steve Hagen who is an American Buddhist Monk.

What I learned from those darkest years of my life was a large factor of resistance. We are waiting for something good to happen, while desperately hoping the 'bad' part of our experience goes away. I kept holding on to an image of my previous life in college where I was free to do whatever I wanted to do. I had all of the friends in the world, girlfriends, drunk nights and such wild experiences, that the thought of having to change my lifestyle made me so depressed, that I couldn't even face the reality of that. My depression was from resistance of my current situation.

As Eckhart Tolle is quoted as saying- "If you are stuck in the mud somewhere, you don’t say, “Okay, I am in the mud, I have to accept it, and here I am - I’m not taking any action because I have to accept what is”.  This moment is already always as it is, and there’s nothing you can do about that.  That’s what you accept.  Then, action that arises has a different energy to it.  The will that flows into what you do is no longer egoic.  When you have not accepted this moment, the will goes against the Universe – that is what the ego does.  It is negative, it fights something that it says shouldn't be there.  If you use negativity, you are trapped in ego."

Meaning, you first have to accept....the reality of What IS. Once you can accept and be in love with What IS, you can then take action to improve your quality of life.

I was reading a report today from Nanci Danison who sends me email newsletters from her site. She is a near death survivor. She talked in this newsletter about suicide. Ultimately, from the greater perspective of Being, suicide is not a bad thing and is not looked down upon. However, apparently, we come into this life with certain purposes and we pre-plan exit strategies ourselves prior to incarnation! Go figure! If you consider that we are merely Awareness itself incarnated into human bodies, then this life that we experience is merely a virtual reality game. It's not as real as it seems folks, but it is very real for the subjective experience of each of us.

There is nothing that is ultimately that serious in the large scheme of things that is worth killing yourself over, from the greater totality of Being. Only from our limited perspectives, do we think in such a way of life and death. Consider that at the end of this human life, you will shed this costume (physical body) and wake up from the dream of human physicality and embrace and remember who you truly are as an Eternal Being of Love and Light merely as an aspect of the one Source Being. No more fears, no more anything. Only Love. This human experience will seem like a vast dream once you enter the after life. The amnesia will wear off and we will remember everything and have complete access to all Universal knowledge. You'll smack yourself in the head (which won't exist) and think....oh yeah, now I remember! You'll wonder how physical life could ever have fooled you, in the way it has.

Life's purpose in physicality, in my opinion, is the experience itself and the growth in understanding that Love is all that matters. There is nothing else here to experience, but Love, Love, Love. You have a chronic disease? Accept it with Love. Are you grieving for a close friend or a family member that passed? Allow yourself to grieve. Feel the emotions fully. Embrace the emotions of sadness and depression. Let them flow for as long as they need. Embrace that pit in your abdomen with Love. Is life becoming too much for you? Embrace those thoughts with Love and allow them to be there.

Start to look at life from a different perspective, even if you have to fake it first. Understand that you are loved by all other Light Being perspectives and that they are looking after you here in this life, even if you are clueless to their existence. You have wonderful Beings of Light friends (closer friends than you can ever imagine) waiting for you when this life ends. Waiting to hear you express what it was like to be a human for a lifetime. Understand that human life is not meant to be taken as seriously as you think. Start to view your negative experiences, merely as opportunities for you to Be Love in the seemingly toughest of times.

Understand that I love you more than you can know and there is only Love in this Universe, even when it seems that there is not. So get off the ledge and go have a laugh somewhere, because once your life is over, you won't be able to go back into physicality and express the Love that you are, to the people closest to you. Make a difference now and Be Love. Look at every situation and question whether or not you are acting from fear or Love.

Expressions from ME

I feel the only way to fully embrace all aspects of myself, is to allow my experience, to be, regardless of how difficult it might be to face. In order to do that, I need to accept what is currently happening in my experience....meaning, exactly how I feel....right....now.

Today was a very difficult day for me and I'm still feeling quite emotional and I'd like an outlet to express my emotions. But, the reason it turned out so difficult, is the way I handled it. I haven't been this stressed in quite a long time and I realized today how poorly I handled the stress of the situation I found myself in and it just goes to show how human I am after all or more along the lines of how much work I have left to do on myself. I had a big awakening two weeks ago (one of many over the past couple of years), which was detailed in my earlier posts, yet my humanness has never been more evident than today.

There was a leak in my apartment today which woke me up and I immediately panicked. Combine that with a couple of other things including a falling out with a former friend and bang, here I am. Crying is something that is often looked down upon in our society for men and personally, I don't feel ashamed to cry. Crying makes me feel good. It's a release of emotions for me and a release of energy. I cry during movies or when I get emotional. I'm posting this because, it's making me feel incredibly vulnerable to post it...haha! The more vulnerable I allow myself to be, the more open I become. I feel the more public I can express myself and as honest and open as I possibly can be with myself and my experience, is the only way I am ever going to come full circle in embracing all aspects of myself. I was recommended that I post this blog to Facebook. I'm still hesitant to do it because of the complexity of personalities that encompass my Facebook friends, but I am strongly considering it. I'll do it when I am ready.

I hate wearing a mask. I've worn a mask for so long, my face needs to breathe. I want everyone who reads this blog to see who I truly am. Who I am is exactly who I am in any given moment. I want to shout it from the rooftops and the mountain tops to express my Love for them by showing who and what I really am. The only way I can express the love I am for them is to be perfectly honest and embrace what I am feeling right now. I am feeling sadness right now and a little fear of a number of factors. Yet, there is a Love around that sadness and fear as I allow it to flow through me. The fear I feel, is a result of the potential unknown.

Did we ever consider that there are no faults in relationships, but merely opportunities for growth? I could pinpoint a million things from present relationships or past relationships that I, or my partner were at fault for, but, ultimately, fault lies in the eye of the beholder. There's only subjectivity. What one person sees as a fault, is an opportunity for growth for another. See yourself....in relation to another and live from there. Neale Donald Waslch has some incredible stuff on this on youtube and in his books 'Conversations with God'. No, there's no religion involved. It's strictly spirituality. Relationships provide us with some of the greatest homework for ourselves as we really see the parts of ourselves that we often don't want to see. It's easy to live your life detached from the world with no interactions. However, there's very little opportunity for reflection (using another person as a mirror) which is why relationships of all kinds are such wonderful tools for us here in human form. So, please don't beat yourself up if you seemingly fuck up. That fuck up is a wonderful opportunity for learning, evolution and growth for your soul perspective. Maybe my next post will delve more into manifesting and the....gulp....Law of Attraction.

I've worried so much in my life over the years, including rejection, making the wrong decisions, what people will think of me, money, change, sexual performance, my health. Yep I've been a worry wort. I've held my feelings in, in the past. Awakening for me has liberated me from these emotions/feelings, but being a conditioned mind/body, they still rear their head. So, when I'm in a tough situation, such as what I dealt with today, sometimes, these conditioned feelings arise again as part of the conditioning of my mind/body. Let me point out that, the leak/flood today was not nearly as bad as my reaction to it. The fear of my apartment being destroyed and my work computer. The fear of my bed being destroyed. Where would I sleep? I realize how non-adaptable I am in life. It takes me a while to be able to sleep in a new setting which is why I don't sleep well in hotels (plus hotel pillows are very uncomfortable).

Acknowledging what you are feeling is huge. Being in denial, is a rejection of the dark side. Acknowledging the dark side, is embracing the dark side and as a result beaming light on the dark side. I am all of it! Being whole and complete means acknowledging what we often don't want to face. It's painful and difficult. Trust me! But, facing it, as difficult as it might be, is much more liberating and enlightening and healthy for the body then holding our emotions in and having them manifest in other forms within the body or projected outward towards other people. We can never embrace all aspects of ourself, with part of ourself still in the dark. Star Wars was a religion for me growing up and I never realized how profound George Lucas's script was in relation to spirituality until recent years.

My fears and my dark side are here for anyone to see. I am fully open as I embrace it all. That which used to be dark, is becoming more and more lit.

I love you all very much and I will continue to detail my journey through the human roller coaster known as life :).

Life is Wholistic

I really only wanted to create this blog to detail my experiential exploration spiritually speaking. However, this piece will be a little different, but yet pertinent to spirituality.

I've been looking for a good holistic nutritionist and I found one who does phone consultations as I am looking for someone to interpret hair mineral analysis to test for heavy metals and mineral imbalances. The woman I found does something called nutritional balancing which basically takes a person's entire lifestyle into consideration when interpreting lab results and offering nutritional advice. While I am going to sign up for a consultation with her because she's incredibly knowledgeable, I still don't believe that this approach alone is the answer to chronic health conditions.

It's kind of interesting when you look at the allopathic medical establishment and see how they treat patients. They treat every part of the body separately. They treat every health condition with a separate drug or approach. Heck, they have specialists for every body system! I work in the mainstream medical field reading medical charts for a living as a medical coder, so I see this every day of my life. A patient has congestive heart failure and Diabetes, and they are treated as two completely separate conditions, not taking into account the ultimate cause of both is likely the same. It's almost comical reading medical charts how very few in medicine consider questioning why patients reached the level of poor health that they are currently at in the first place. Nope, instead, just throw more drugs at the patients and enhance the notion of separation. This is how our society works. The Pharmaceutical industry absolutely has a stranglehold over mainstream medicine and often control many of the lab studies on drugs. I'll digress for now :)

Even the holistic health field does the very same thing sadly. Granted, they don't use drugs. They use herbs to treat every body system/symptom/disease separately. Again....separation.

Then, you have the other group of people who do understand that our bodies are whole organisms that need to be treated whole-istically and they understand how everything in our lives affects everything else including our toxic exposures especially here in the Western world. They approach  health from the perspective that the body/mind needs to be treated as a whole and they factor in that a spiritual lifestyle is an important complement to physical health.

Yet, all of these approaches are approaching health from a backwards perspective. Would you like to know why? No? You don't want to know why? Well, why did you ask? Oh, you didn't ask. Sorry. Basically, it's just me rambling to myself then. Well, I'll tell you anyway because I'm a nice guy....

All of these approaches take the perspective of the human body/mind and treat outward. Not taking into account that everything including the body/mind is already a manifestation of Pure Energy. If everything is already Energy, then essentially any health condition, is at the focal point, merely an 'Energy issue'. The physical ailments we find are merely byproducts of something energetically out of vibration largely from lifelong stress that has built up in the body. Stress is the number one factor in all chronic health conditions. Emotional stress in our lives gets stored in the body's memory cells and as a result, causes a breakdown in immunity in the GI tract (where 70-80 percent of the immune system is located) which then allows us to be more susceptible to dysbiosis (imbalance of bacteria in the gut), heavy metals, mineral imbalances, chronic infections, allergies and chronic fatigue. The gut is the physical health center of the body. Yet, Energy is the only actual health center since there is nothing, but Energy in reality. Your energetic projections (thoughts/emotions/feelings/most of all beliefs) are the precursor to all health conditions.

When emotions stemming from fear build up over time, the cells break down and immunity becomes a problem in the gut which then leads to every other potential health condition out there. Understand that from the greater perspective of totality, all of this is perfectly fine and you can do no wrong. Healthy or not healthy has no bearing on your true nature which is always whole and complete as Unconditional Love/Pure Being. But, relatively speaking, meaning, relative reality of appearances, meaning, the human vehicle of expression that you are experiencing through/as, we can't deny that chronic health problems exist, especially in the US. So, what's the solution?

Well, it's definitely not about positive thinking. I don't believe in positive thinking. I believe we need to wake up to who we are in the first place if we ever want to address healthcare in the way that it was meant to be addressed when we incarnated into these bodies. Wake up to the realization that we are Pure Potentiality as Being and we create our own realities by our own belief structures. Therefore, the future approach to healthcare needs to focus on a spirituality oriented paradigm and only then, can we address the body physically speaking as opposed to addressing the body first and foremost (which is only addressing the effects) with spirituality merely being a complement. This is why I believe schools should be focusing on providing spiritual studies for children, especially in the form of meditation at a young age, at least as an option. Let children see at a young age that they are not merely just their thoughts/feelings/emotions, etc. Like you and I, they are Brahman/Atman.

Getting away from the notion of separation is the only way to understand that true healing stems from a wholistic approach to life, but not merely in the context of the body/mind, but in understanding that wholistic in this context is in reference to life itself. There is only Being.....with an interconnected web of experiences with everything affecting everything else. There is not anywhere or anything that is separate, merely Being expressing itself in different ways. Everything is already whole. All separation only exists within appearance. Therefore, treating each body part or even each aspect of our experience (body/mind/soul) as something separate is missing the point.

As a result of all of this, I really would love to work in the whole-istic health and spiritual field in the future and really help people whole-istically to heal emotionally, physically and most of all, spiritually. Perhaps, I will become a teacher of sorts. Who knows what's in store for me.

On to my Thanksgiving lunch/dinner now with family

Much love to all

Being....the Universe...and everything in between

Talking to one of my close friends today and he told me about someone's facebook status which showed a picture of the Sun in our galaxy as compared to an even larger Sun known to us and the facebook status indicated that 'we are so tiny and insignificant'. 

This comes from the perspective of separation by only seeing yourself as a body/mind. Taking a less limiting perspective of Being itself, the Universe can be seen as a living organism that is awakening and learning about itself through every possible aspect of its existence. Through every human form which acts as the arms and legs of Source Being, every cell, every particle, every planet, every galaxy and fractals upon fractals outward, and fractals upon fractals inward. We are the universe and from an even greater perspective, we are Being itself, knowing itself in every way imaginable experiencing itself as the Universe.

But, at the same time, due to the subjective nature of our experience, claiming that we are small and insignificant is also a perfectly valid perspective even if it is defining/limiting. As Pure potentiality, we as Being, have the potential to create anything we choose to, based on our beliefs. There are ultimately no right/wrong beliefs. All beliefs are valid. Some more limiting than others. It's merely a matter of either creating by defining and therefore limiting your experience by thinking you are a tiny speck in a massive Universe, or going deep into your experience and seeing that you are anything and everything already as Pure Being and you are also the tiny speck itself. :)

Vacation fun

Exactly one year ago, I was closing out one of the strangest vacations I ever took. I was on a cruise to the Bahamas with my family. Fun trip. Lots of warm weather, awesome beaches and spending time with family was a blast. Watching the pitch black ocean at night all alone was really breath taking. The trip was strange because I spent such a good portion of the trip completely alone as my family retired early each evening and I chose to walk around and try to mingle with other people since I had my own cabin.

The boat was largely catered to the night life scene, yet the majority of the people on the boat were couples or families. I felt very lonely on the trip at certain points, especially at night, and very much missing being home and largely missing the company of other people. But, yet what I realized as the cause of my loneliness was the resisting of 'the uncomfortable'. Being alone on the ship was merely a metaphor in a way to something 'outside of my comfort zone' and the easy way out would have been to have people surrounding me that I was comfortable with. Yet, the experience I received at the time was exactly the experience I needed. I needed to be uncomfortable as a form of introspection to see the part of myself I chose to keep in the dark. Some call this Shadow work which a friend recently brought to my attention this past week. As I've mentioned previously in other posts, relating in any way, is a form of reflection. We awaken through our experiences and see more and more about ourselves when there is something to reflect on. 

Going out by myself to a night club on the ship involving dancing and realizing how incredibly uncomfortable I was in that atmosphere (as a fear of how silly I would look dancing by myself) awakened me to a side of my self that I have chosen to hide for so long. My insecurities really showed on the ship and it was a wonderful thing to have myself being put in such a vulnerable position and having to learn to embrace that. Over the years, I tend to stray away from the uncomfortable in place of only facing the comfortable. I stayed in my comfort zone and only looked for experiences that matched that. Even when I feel physically ill, I would always be looking for the next 'feel good' experience, not allowing for or embracing the fact that I was not feeling good at the moment. I was resisting such a vast part of my experience, simply because I didn't understand it.

Some people I believe stay in their comfort zones because of fear of the dark side. The more and more open and honest I have become with myself involving others and with my own experience, that dark side has become illuminated by the light of my embrace and the more free I feel in that there is nothing in my experience that is not a part of me....including the uncomfortable experiences which no longer seem as dark as they used to. Yes, they can be very difficult to deal with, but facing and most of all embracing the part of us that we feel uncomfortable is a sign that we were previously resisting aspects of ourselves and that is truly enlightenment. 

I AM

Perception/experience is how I (as Being) am knowing myself in multiple limited ways. I/Being am always unlimited. How can that be known directly? Being simply IS. There is no restriction on simply Being. Allow experience to be. There is only unlimited potential. The only restrictions are through mental labels/concepts/definitions I apply to Being which in turn.....creates more limitation on what I actually AM. There is only knowing as everything as myself. Being is all there is from any and every potential perspective.

Knowing myself via this human body/mind is one limited way for me to know/express myself.  Yet, I am also knowing myself through Jane, Mark, Mary, Tom, the ocean, the hair on Derek's head, his organs, the cells in his body, through every tear drop of his, every breath of his, and every particle making up Derek's cells. Being IS. There is only Being.

 I am awakening to myself/AS myself through this human expression known collectively as Derek. I am learning about myself through/as this human expression known as Derek, but not only as Derek. When Derek's perspective is incredibly limited and even judgmental, I am still Being as I AM because I cannot be anything other than 'I AM'. When Derek's perspective becomes wider, I become more and more unlimited via the limited expression of Derek and therefore more aligned with a higher vibrational frequency closer to Pure Being. Even when the body of Derek becomes ill and sick, that is me becoming ill and sick because there is no separation between Derek's experience and my experience of I AM because they are one and the same! I AM Derek. I AM everything that Derek experiences, yet I AM.....not only limited to Derek. The more I allow in my experience through this human form and the less I resist, the more of my true nature comes to light as simply 'I AM'. Presence simply IS. There is only NOW! 

Some insight that came through tonight. Wanted to share. Now, try implementing that into your everyday experience. Not nearly as easy when ego takes over. It's all good though. Enjoy the ride of life. :) I recommend the I AM as a form of mantra in meditation.

Much love to all.

Perspectives upon Perspectives

Consider the following perspective. It is my own perspective. I don't claim it as truth, but as merely a perspective:

Experience is merely perspective if you think about it. 7 Billion or so people, along with animals, rocks, trees, particles, every cell in your body, bacteria etc all co-experiencing from different unique, perspectives to co-create what we call.....objectivity. Meaning.....objectivity is essentially....subjectivity. Blow your mind yet?

Experience is perception and perception is experience. Meaning, the only world we know is via our direct experience. Not just human experience though. All experience through every physical and non physical form in existence.

But, while in these human bodies, our perspectives will always be inherently limited. Therefore, anything and everything you do will affect anything and everything else, like the butterfly effect.....no, not that movie :). All perspectives are inter-connected to co-create this energetic world of physicality.

My perspective might completely differ from Mary's perspective. However, I can never hope to fully understand Mary's perspective because her own unique perspective is just that....unique. When I try to impose my own beliefs upon Mary's perspective, I become more limited. When I can stand back and understand that Mary's perspective is Mary's perspective which stems from Mary's own life experiences, regardless of whether I agree or not with her, then I become less limited in my allowance of Mary's perspective to be as it is in Love and my vibration raises to a higher frequency. That is true compassion and empathy.

So, if this entire universe is merely perspectives upon perspectives, then how can we claim one perspective more right than another perspective? It's only our limited understanding (myself included) of who and what we are that claims as such, not grasping that we are all just experiencing through these limited entities finding our way back to Love which is our home. Open your perspective up to Pure Being and stop limiting yourself so much through judgement and defining of others and life itself and come to understand that defining and labels only limit your potential into the Unlimited.

Here's a couple of cool quotes which detail our limited views on Consciousness from two near death survivors:

"So creation is God exploring God's Self through every way imaginable, in an ongoing, infinite exploration through every one of us. Through every piece of hair on your head, through every leaf on every tree, through every atom, God is exploring God's Self, the great "I am". I began to see that everything that is, is the Self, literally, your Self, my Self. Everything is the great Self. That is why God knows even when a leaf falls. That is possible because wherever you are is the center of the universe. Wherever any atom is, that is the center of the universe. -Mellen Thomas Benedict

"Although we arbitrarily assign consciousness to only a few things in our current definition of what is real in this physical universe, it becomes clear in the expanded consciousness perspective that all form has consciousness. And all of consciousness cooperates to co-create and mantain what we think of as our physical world reality"-Natalie Sudman 

Relating/physicality and Experience

Conceptually grasping a teacher's teaching and experientially exploring the depths of the human experience are two different things. I feel many grasp the nature of the teachings, but fail to incorporate it into their daily lives which can often lead to spiritual nihilism or the avoidance of life. Granted, no choice is wrong from the greater perspective of Love, our relative existence here in physicality calls for action when action is needed and calls for non-action when that is needed.

Life for me, would likely be a whole lot easier if I lived like a Monk in a mountain with no contact with the world and merely meditated 24/7. (That actually sounds really enticing!). There would be less stress on my body/mind and less chance for worrying and thoughts going through my mind.

On the other hand, that kind of life would be boring! There is not much chance for growth and evolution living in the way mentioned above, plus, I don't think the human body was really designed for that. Interaction with life means diving into life and actually inter-acting.....acting within Love. Consider that our true nature is the One Being. The purpose of physicality (if there is one) is to explore what it is like to be a separate being, to explore human feelings of fear, love, betrayal, anger, happiness, sexuality, etc. Therefore, there are relationships all around us all of the time in physicality. You can't wake up and get out of bed without having a relationship of some kind with something, whether it's how you relate to an inanimate object such as your pillow, or how you relate to another human being. Relationships of all sorts are wonderful opportunities for us to really see things within ourselves as opportunities for growth and evolution because they reflect in others, which we really see in ourselves. Without relating to another, we are essentially back where we came from as Oneness which is always the case, even with the appearance of separation.

Physicality therefore was manifested in the way it is experienced for the sole purpose of growth and evolution of Love. We can only grow and evolve in the game of physicality if we learn from experience and experience IS relating. There is no experience without relationship. I'm not just talking about romantic relationships here, which is merely only one potential opportunity for relating. I'm talking about simply relating to anything or any one at any given moment, whether it's the bed, your neighbor, your family member, partner, friend, co-worker, tree, animal.  So, seeing yourself and how you are, in relation to another, is where we can know if we are operating from a place of Love (who we are) or a place of Fear (Ego Perspective).

Understand that no person is responsible for your own happiness. Only you, yourself are. Loving is allowing another to be as the beautiful expression of life that they are. Fear is wanting to change another to fit your own expectations.

The next time you get angry or agitated with someone, take a moment and consider why you are blaming another for your own feelings/emotions and look at yourself as the sole cause of your own freedom and Love....... which you already are as your nature.

You are already liberated

Liberation is the freedom to know that nothing and I mean NOTHING in life can ever harm you. Sure, the body will go through changes and can be physically destroyed, but you can never be harmed.

But, most of us are too trapped in our minds to realize this at this point of our lives. Then how does liberation occur? I'll give you my own experience and let you decide from here going forward.

For years, I was trapped in my mind with stress, anxiety and even depression at times as I believed everything in my mind. I was only the story of my mind and nothing more. After reading Eckhart Tolle's 'A New Earth', it had a nice impact on me, but nothing earth shattering. It wasn't until I went through an intense period of suffering after the end of a dating situation. I created the image in my mind of an ideal romantic partner and when I met someone who I thought matched up perfectly to my idealistic image, I thought....this is it! I have found the one! When we went our separate ways, I was very distraught. The experience with this girl, led me to an intense path of spiritual searching because she too was a big fan of Eckhart Tolle, so spending some time with her made me delve back into Eckhart's teachings. One day, a few weeks later, I was laying on my bed watching an Eckhart Tolle video on anger when it finally hit me. I was the space for the anger as opposed to only the anger. Granted, I wasn't really angry at all at that point, but anger in Eckhart's example was a metaphor for the anxiety and stress I was dealing with at the time. Oh my! (in George Takei's voice) This was the most liberating thing I have ever, ever experienced. I was free from the ego perspective. None of my (perceived) enemies could ever harm me anymore. I was Existence itself! Love, Love, Love were the only words in my dictionary! What happened in that moment was that my perspective expanded so greatly to include all of my anxiety and stress that I realized, I no longer was just any...one....of those things. I was that which allows all of those things to be there, but yet I was those things as well! I was all of it! Liberation and Love.

Later that week, I emailed the girl I had broken it off with to thank her for leading me to this experience. If it wasn't for her, I would not have gone so deeply down the spiritual path, nor would I have thought to watch Eckhart Tolle's videos and most of all, her experience with me led to such an intense period of suffering for me that I finally exploded with a revelation of pure Liberation which would come and go, come and go from then after.   

Point of all of this? Fear runs rampant in our lives. I have a lot of fears still as well, but I realize that I am not just my fears anymore. Love is what is. When fear becomes the primary energy frequency, it clouds that Love which lies underneath the fear and makes us feel limited (ego perspective). But, Love never truly leaves. Love is that which allows even fear to exist as it does. Love is Energy. Love is Awareness. It is unconditional. When fear is running the show, we believe that our lives are limited. We believe that we can only do this and that in our lifetimes within the confines of limitation, but in the back of our minds, that fear is still lingering like a cat waiting around the corner to pounce on a mouse. Most people tried to avoid their fears by escaping them, which seems logical, right?

No, that doesn't work I've found in my own experiences. Love, unconditionally is about embracing and including everything in our experience. When I embrace my fears and allow them to be as they are, when I realize that, what I am at my core is so unlimited and whole and complete, my goodness, it brings tears to my eyes to see how nothing at all can ever harm me as a whole. My mind and body can be harmed, but they are only parts of what I am. What I am at a greater level, is Pure Aware Being. Love is truly who and what I am. When I acknowledge this, I am absolutely liberated from that limited (ego perspective). Mind you, that doesn't mean that ego never rears its head. Of course it does! It's going to be with me until the death of this human body. At times it's very strong still. Sometimes much more so than others! However, the ego perspective has grown and grown and grown almost to the point of dissolving into the greater Beingness that I am. 

Point being....I've experienced the unlimited and Infinite blissful Self that I truly am. It's a matter of inclusion and embracing of our every moment in experience and loving every bit of it. 

Our Source (who we truly are) is an unconditionally loving Energy field of Pure Awareness. Therefore, Unconditional Love is truly who and what we are and we will realize this at the death of our physical bodies. But, because of conditioning, we believe we are limited and that too is perfectly fine! All perspectives are valid! Whether you awaken or not in this lifetime is perfectly, perfectly fine. What I am providing here is merely a context for those who want to Be as they truly are and end suffering. Allow experience to come and go exactly as it is. Let your fears be there and feel them and experience them to the fullest degree and embrace them lovingly as they are a part of you.  

Throw away concepts! Throw away all limiting ideas, definitions, and concepts about what Consciousness is and what it is not. 

Embracing all experience as it comes, is the only gateway to Unconditional Love. 

I send this to you with only Love. 

Oneness

What is 'Oneness'? Man, that is quite a loaded term! Isn't it? 

It's actually not. When we try to conceptualize terms like 'Oneness' and 'Being', we end up back in that limited perspective of human mind which makes it seem loaded. But, when we go by our own experience, there is only Love. 

Understand that ego (the identification with mind) very much exists! There is no question that the ego perspective (which almost every person experiences for a good portion of their lives), exists for a purpose when we incarnate into these human bodies. From the greater perspective of Being, there is no right/wrong. Those are relative human terms. Life merely just 'Is'. Therefore, the ego perspective is in no way 'wrong'. It's just merely a limited perspective of our experience and it is beautiful just for that! Awakening, is when that perspective grows and grows and grows and grows and becomes more and more un-limited. We can never reach the Absolute while incarnated into these limited human bodies. However, our perspectives can widen in all directions to incorporate a more inclusive perspective of reality. 

Therefore, back to oneness. What is 'Oneness'? Are we all just stardust? Well, yes and no. However, this is a conceptual understanding of 'Oneness'. On the other hand, Being Oneness, without delving into the hard problem of Consciousness and other labels and definitions, is simply Being. Oneness is Pure Being, Pure Unconditional Love, Pure 'I am'. Life in human form is merely Being....human. Being exploring what it's like to be limited in this human form. There is only Being, but each of us as a unique conscious perspective of Source Being, creates, vibrates and expresses in a unique fashion. Ultimately, it's all a play in the seamless whole of Pure Love/Being. 

So, to experience Oneness, Just sit and Be with what is. Watch your thoughts, watch your emotions, allow anything and everything to be there fully and lovingly as they are. Embrace it all. Embrace everything, the fear and the happy thoughts. It's all part of YOU and your experience. This is YOU. This is Pure Being/Unconditional Love....which means.....Loving it all without conditions. You don't have to do anything to be Love because you are Love already. Even if you are incredibly lost in your thoughts and your mind, Love is still underneath that allowing it to be exactly as it is. You are unlimited at your core, but unlimited includes the limited. Anything that exists is valid in Pure Awareness. When we sit and simply allow life to happen and embrace it all....and I mean....it all....what's left over is simply Unconditional seamless Love. Love is the core of everything. Every good experience, every (perceived) bad experience. When there is only Love, where is the separation? It's just one seamless, whole experience that is co-created by everything and everyone together.

So, take a deep breath and dive on in to life. Or not. It's all good 

Welcome

This is my first time blogging. So, this is an awesome new experience for me! I'm excited to express myself on a public forum and really put myself out there for potential scrutiny. I really don't care if I have a lot of (or any for that matter) followers as I have created this blog for the sole purpose of expression, expression of not only my human self but, an opening to channels of greater Awareness. Writing has always been a creative outlet for me (along with music). So, I'm excited to get this thing going. I was inspired to create this blog after a friend recently recommended to do so. Here I am! This blog will be an open, honest, creative outlet of my own experience and a chance for me to open up more and more to a grander, more inclusive perspective of Awareness. A chance for me to really openly see all aspects of myself via my direct experience as I open up more and more to life.

So, much more to come. But, it's late now and I'm exhausted.

Much love to all

-Derek